Leaving UAB?

I have decided that it might be time for me to leave UAB and move to another school where I might not struggle to keep my grades up. I guess I need to decide soon, and maybe withdraw for the rest of the semester.

Yesterday I was feeling less than great and I took some time and thought it all through and felt way better. I was holding on to stress for no reason. Today I feel amazing and I am so happy even if I have class and work.

Poem - Seams

There is peace on my mind

There is peace missing from my soul

There is depression taking over like a virus

Turing all the good to bad and the life to death

Sew it all back together with something new

Cover up all the darkness and let me go

Let me fall into the dark again and watch me drown

Faking the happiness that I need once again

The thread is falling apart and fraying at the ends

I am falling apart at the seams

Cosplay

So I am cosplaying this summer for (hopefully!) PlayOnCon here in Birmingham as Ezio from Assassin’s creed. I am looking up so much stuff and I think this will be a lot of fun. Anyone got any advice?

Birthday

Today is my birthday and everyone is wishing me a happy birthday and I like it but I wish it was just a normal day. It is a Tuesday, not much you can do for a 21st birthday on a Tuesday.

Putting this out here

It doesn’t matter what other people is beautiful as long as you believe you are. It bothers me when people say that we need to redefine beautiful. Here is a definition:

1
:  the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit :  loveliness
Why do we need to change that. Every person likes something different. I like having my hair short and having it be different color.  I love my tattoos and I think they add to who I am and explain something about me even if you have to ask. I think it looks beautiful on me. If someone else thinks it doesn’t, it isn’t my fault. They have something else that give pleasures to their sense. Every person is beautiful in their own way. Some people can express it others not so much. Some people can use their words to make you feel beautiful but they can use them to tear you down. There comes to a point that the only person who can tell you that you are not beautiful is yourself. When you look in the mirror and it makes you the happiest and you see the beauty radiate from yourself and from within, then everyone else can go away and take their hate with them.  There is no point to making everyone see the same beauty, we would all be striving for the same thing (mainstream wise) and some one else would still be doing something that is extreme. 
I guess it can sound bad but everyday when I don’t feel beautiful I look in the mirror and say that I am the best I can be and if you don’t like it stuck it. I am beautiful in my own way and today that might be my words. I am the best thing in the world today. I am perfect.
I can tell you that no matter what others like surround yourself with people think you are beautiful and don’t want you to change but if you need it. Allow yourself the freedom to choose what you want. Let no one tell you that you are not beautiful the way you are.

Just throwing this out there before I go to bed

I think everyone should be a feminist. I fully believe that men and women should be equal and some who does not, hurts me and themselves because they are letting power control their lives. I feel that their should be equality among the sexes and then we can work on racial equality.  Sex equality can be done any where by any one and everyone understands what it is like to be a women or a man. Any questions ask?

Instagram

I guess I really don’t understand the point of Instagram. I don’t see a point in selfies and taking pictures of random things. There is no need to document your life in that way. I believe that pictures are suppose to be taken in moments that need to be remembered and shouldn’t be planned. There is no reason for me to take a picture of my food or take pictures of myself when I have nothing else to do. I don’t need other people’s opinions on my looks each day.  Pictures are best when they are completely unplanned and have true emotions in it. The best pictures I have ever taken are of my friends when they are not paying attention and when they look truly excited or happy in the moment.

Food

I love food. Is that weird? I will absolutely pig out on ice cream and candy and I don’t care what any one says. I love a good steak and a baked potato. I have seen so many girls at my school who are way too skinny. I am sad because they could be so pretty if they had some weight on their bones and it hurts me they don’t see it. Am I a different person considering I like how I look? I am still just happy I love food.

Class is going. Feel like I should meet people, considering I am surrounded by strangers. Probably not going to happen because I don’t like people all to much.

I was thinking about it today that I know a lot of people at UAB but not in person. I don’t ever want to meet you people and I don’t mean that in a bad way but you all are just internet friends and knowing you in real life would change how I see your posts.  Sorry guys.

I am at the point where I need school. I need something that is regular and very much planned out. I like planned out systems and whatnot.

My blog is two.

Poem - Sleep

Sleep in my eyes
You are on my mind
Trying to let you go
Can’t sleep without you here
Please come back
Please cuddle up with me

Sleep, take over
Sleep, wrap your arms around me
Sleep, allow me to run away
Hide inside my dreams
Sleep, be my safe haven

Don’t haunt my dreams
Don’t let me forget you
Don’t let me cry myself asleep
Don’t let me cry over you
Don’t let me be lonely
Don’t hold on to me
Don’t forget me
Don’t let me remember

I gained a bunch of followers one day and didn’t have good enough internet to post hello so….
Hello.
How did you find my tiny blog?
If it was my writing I would love to know because I assume it is crap,